Well, I am sitting here on an express train on our way from
Incheon (near the capital, Seoul), where we spent the day training for our
school. It is said to be the fastest train in the world! So, I’ve got a little
time to write. It’s times like this, where I look around at all of these
people, visiting different cities & places, and realize WE LIVE IN KOREA.
We’re not in Columbia anymore, Toto. This is our real, every day life. I think
the reality of that has really begun to set in for me. (This is Hannah writing
for now btw) I was re-reading some of my journal before coming; remember my
thoughts about what Changwon was going to be like, what our school was going to
be like, what LIFE was going to be like. I remember praying for all of these
things, and now that we’re living it out, I can praise the One who cares about
our deepest desires, big and small. I
can see God’s hand at work, guiding us to Changwon, and directly to POLY
school. He’s answered so many of our prayers for a church, solid school,
awesome co-workers, friends. It is because of that, that I can continue to call
on Him in faith that He will give us what we need. And man, have I had to call
on Him this week. It has been one of the toughest weeks for me at school. My morning
kiddos are incredibly cute, but this week has been really difficult. I know now
looking back that part of it has been my own inner struggles with perfectionism
and feeling completely inadequate,
but some of it comes from the fact that these precious little ones 1) don’t all
speak English (a handful do) and I feel helpless at times to know how to
communicate with them and 2) I wasn’t prepared to not be able to keep their
attention for so long and felt like I had failed and 3) let's be honest...sometimes they aren't so precious : ) I’ve got some strong willed
kiddos and it is difficult not being able to explain to them why I am
disciplining them. Long story short, there were a few really
stressful days where I broke down in the classroom, once when I bit my tongue
harder than I ever had in my life (icing on the cake) and I just stared at
these kids wondering what the heck I was doing here. One time this little girl
who speaks a little English pointed, “Hannah Teacher crying!” Since it was so
draining, all the life was sucked out of me for my afternoon classes with my
older children. Just made for some long days and good cries after work. I tried to explain to Traylor that I have
always LOVED children, and have always dreamed of living overseas for longer
than 2 weeks at a time as I had previously, and felt like I had failed…that
maybe I wasn’t supposed to be teaching after all. I slowly I began to realize
that—NO. I have not failed. This is not a mistake. This week has a purpose, and
there will probably be more weeks—heck, there will be more weeks like this again.
Despite all of that, God is faithful, His promises remain, and His joy can be
found in the deepest, darkest moments. I’ve
been so comforted by truly trying to SEEK joy in the midst of trials. I rarely try to SEEK joy and CHOOSE to believe that God has our best interest at
heart, especially in hard circumstances.
I always just want it to come naturally…I just want to wake up happy. But
that doesn’t always happen. I have been eternally thankful for my sweet husband
during this week. He has been my biggest encouragement, always checking on me
after each class and lovingly correcting some of the lies I’ve allowed myself to
sink into. He is the best, and I am growing more in love with the man I
married.
Phew—sorry for the in depth story of my heart! I cherish
your thoughts and prayers. THANK YOU! In other news, the week ended really well
and I feel some of my joy being restored. My morning kiddos (the young ones)
celebrated a bday celebration with the rest of the school and it was hilarious.
All of the school came together as an assembly of sorts and we danced and
played games. On the wall hung a ‘Happy Birthday Banner’ with Hello Kitty (Of
course!). I posted a video to facebook so check it out.
Here are some of the cute kiddos in my class. Can you tell these two girls are the ring leaders of my classroom? The first is Sunny and the second is Christine: (hopefully you'll get a kick out of the peace sign, too!)
I only have two boys in the morning. One has a bowl cut. Yong is the first and Thomas is the second.
I only have two boys in the morning. One has a bowl cut. Yong is the first and Thomas is the second.
I have some hilarious older kids in the afternoon. They are older
and much more advanced, so you can carry on conversations with them. I have
this kid named Benjamin that brings pockets full of Lego toys that I have to
take from him every single class. He is the biggest trouble maker, and
literally turns into the Tasmanian devil, but he makes me laugh so hard. Here he is:
Here are some other highlights:
We found a church! It is so awesome because there are people from all over the world, which we love. We went today for the second time and it was absolutely incredible. We are really excited to find a family here to plug into. Thank you for your prayers in this area--we've met some really great people and it is so encouraging to hear God's Word in another culture and know it is the same!
We moved our bed upstairs to the loft and got a new (for us)
couch that somebody was throwing out! For some reason, the loft has a really
low ceiling. (Typical in Korea) You can’t stand all the way up, otherwise
you’ll hit your head. But it is perfect
for our bed! Took a little video our us in our apartment: (please excuse the fact that I just got out of the shower!)
I love the every day life of finding quirky little Asian
things. I love that we get to walk to school every day past the Hello Kitty
Café (which was an AWESOME birthday celebration!)
I love using chopsticks. Today at our training in Seoul,
they had forks for us—but I willingly chose chopsticks. Hannie the Asian.
I love that kimchi literally comes with every single meal.
Also, sometimes our apartment smells like kimchi and we don’t even eat it
there. It is like a permanent smell.
Again, I love that I can get an ab work out on my morning
run and run past the old guys wearing neon track suits in the park.
I love the fish markets in the middle of the city, with
fresh fish and fruits and veggies. I
don’t, however, like the silk worms boiling in a hug pot, ready for a tasty
little snack. Gross. BUT, the fried
shrimp on a stick, and friend pancake-like-thing on the street has become a
regular snack for us.
I’ve gotten used to the “bow” you do when greeting somebody.
Why don’t we do that back home?! : )
I love the mountains just within our grasp.
And Asian bowl cuts. I love them so much.
And I love you guys. I really miss you guys. Come visit when
you can ; )
i LOVE the video tour. you have such a great space. i think i might put my washing machine in the kitchen. haha. i am so glad asian bowlcut picture made the fridge. i just said to trav, "i LOVE seeing how God has taken care of all of the specific things we prayed over." i am so thrilled for you guys and how God is totally authoring your story. your obedience increases my faith. i love you, lady.
ReplyDeletei just believe that God brings good things from the brokenness we experience & the tears when we're far away from home & everything familiar. be encouraged, both of you! i bet you'll be looking back on these days as some of the most valuable times in your marriage. some advise that kate gave me on my last trip - "be where your feet are" - it's easy to say, but true. as the yellow dust of spring pollen is settling on all things in greenwood, i send my continued prayers - be encouraged!
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