Patience, Understanding, and Hope
We have learned a lot since being
in Korea for almost six weeks. Sometimes I say to myself, “We’ve seriously only
been here for six weeks” and other times “We’ve been here for six weeks? It
feels like we just got here yesterday.” Being overseas in Korea has been
strange for us. There have been days where we have loved being here and there
are other days (most days) where we really don’t like it here. We’ve been told
by some friends of ours that have our same vision of the world that it takes
about two-three months to get acquainted with your job and the very strange
culture here; we are resting in that J. We have been learning so much from God since being
over here. My title of this blog tells the tale of what we have encountered and
what God has been bringing up through.
If you haven’t heard from me or
from Hannah or from my family or friends, my dad was diagnosed with prostrate
cancer and we were told through Skype on Tuesday night. It was painful,
fearful, and difficult to hear at the same time. Painful because of the obvious
fear that comes with the weighty word of ‘cancer’, fearful to see my dad and
sharing this news over Skype and having all kinds of thoughts race through my
head; and difficult because I felt hopeless, I wanted to be with him and
comfort him any way I knew how, I felt disarmed and very small because I could
do nothing.
I was very upset and kind of just
stared around for an hour or two while Hannah was trying to consul me. I was just thinking, thinking about the most
terrible situation that could possibly happen. My dad could obviously die, it’s
hard to say, but yes, my dad could die from this. My kids (if God blesses us
with kids) could grow up without my dad as their granddad. I had some very
serious doubt in the sovereignty of God. Why is this happening now? A month
into us being here and getting this news was my worst nightmare come true. I do
what I normally do, I sent off emails and begged friends for prayers for both
my dad and my family, I was really hurting.
Unfortunately, in Korea there are
no sick days so I had to wake up the next morning and go to work. Both Hannah
and I begged for God’s mercy for the day and for my thoughts and her thoughts
as well. Hannah was very encouraging and has been just a banner of grace
throughout this week through praying for us and really taking care of my
emotions and feelings through the whole process.
Hebrews 4:15 tells us that Jesus is
a great High Priest who has been tempted in every way that we have been and does
not look at us with contempt or hatred but with mercy and compassion during our
times of weaknesses. I have rested in this verse this past week because I have
doubted the God of the universe and his plan and his timing. This verse tells
me that Jesus was tempted with the same thoughts and actions (probably before
he went to hang on the tree) as I am and wants me to draw near to Him. So, I
did.
God opened my eyes to his already
abundant blessings of this terrible news. First of all, my dad has a Gleason
score of a 7 out of 10. Obviously, I would prefer a 1, but a 7 is curable and
very much treatable. Also, prostrate cancer is one of, if not the most
treatable cancers so that was incredible news for me to hear. Finally, and most
importantly, my dad’s hope does not rest in his health and that has been very
encouraging to me. My dad’s hope is in Christ. Yes, I’m sure he is scared and
not sure of the next steps, but his hope is in Christ. Yes, he is unsure of his
future and his family and the news really sucks, but his hope in Christ who
saves. Health can’t save you, money can’t save you, women can’t save you, drugs
and alcohol can’t save you, a college football team can’t save you, your image
will not save you, my wife, as lovely as she is, makes a terrible God and she
cannot save. My Christ saves and my hope and my dad’s hope is found in that;
NOTHING ELSE! This is where my hope has been found in the last week.
Finally, I want to add that it is
quite fitting that we got this news on the same week that we celebrate the
cross of Christ and His resurrection. My dad’s news is terrible and tragic and
it really is a punch in the gut, especially being over here and not being able
to be there with him. However, Romans 8:28 tells us that,
“We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for
those who are called according to his purpose.”
If I know one thing about God is that His promises hold true and they
are ironclad. God took the cross and made something that looked like a disaster
into the saving grace of the world through Christ’s resurrection. There was
doubt in God’s promises and there was eventually celebration that his promise
was fulfilled.
Even through this news pray that above all my family would grow closer
to the living God through this. Jesus calls us to draw near to Him, pray that
we do. Pray for my dad and his eventual
surgery, pray that the doctors know what they are doing and pray that he is
healthy. Pray that God uses my dad’s situation to be an opening to share the
gospel with those that don’t know the saving grace of Christ. Pray that God
bless Hannah and I with a more trusting heart towards Him in our time here and
that God would shape us and mold us into who Christ wants us to be until the
time we get to meet him in glory.
-Traylor
